{"id":2476,"date":"2024-10-23T09:44:46","date_gmt":"2024-10-23T19:44:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hawaii.carpentermediagroup.com\/midweekhawaii\/?p=2476"},"modified":"2024-10-23T13:40:34","modified_gmt":"2024-10-23T23:40:34","slug":"breaking-the-silence-building-strength","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hawaii.carpentermediagroup.com\/midweekhawaii\/breaking-the-silence-building-strength\/","title":{"rendered":"Breaking the Silence, Building Strength"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"

Juliet Lighter-Kamm (top right) shares a picture-perfect moment with several students who\u2019ve participated in Women Speaking Out educational programs and events: (from left) Angelica Pascua,
Madison Hauanio and Nicole Ines. Photo by Lawrence Tabudlo<\/p><\/div>\n

Women Speaking Out and its founder, Juliet Lighter-Kamm, want to end dating\/domestic violence by encouraging the community to \u201cspeak up, speak out and speak love.\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n

Theresa Cachuela. Laau Jordan Laulusa. Dana Alotaibi. Elizabeth Fernandez. In recent years, all four were killed in domestic violence attacks locally. Add in the assaults on Kristelle Taliulu and Davina Licon in Mililani and Danying Zhang near Ala Moana and it\u2019s evident there\u2019s a rise in violence against women. <\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t know these women personally, but I make it a point that in every talk I do, I bring up their names,\u201d says Juliet Lighter-Kamm, founder of nonprofit Women Speaking Out. <\/p>\n

Her organization focuses on preventing dating violence through education, resources and collective action \u2014 and this year celebrates 15 years of strengthening the lives of the next generation. October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, but Lighter-Kamm notes that the issue is prevalent year-round. <\/p>\n

\u201cIn Hawai\u2018i, violence against women is in your face,\u201d says Lighter-Kamm, herself a survivor of domestic violence. \u201cWe as a community can no longer ignore this social issue.\u201d <\/p>\n

WSO began as a grassroots nonprofit focused on educating youth in high schools and colleges about dating violence. Now, Lighter-Kamm has elementary schools reaching out to her. <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s happening at a much younger age because of social media and this youngest generation being sexually active earlier,\u201d she says. \u201cThey\u2019re also replicating what they see at home. If their parents are abusive to one another or violent, they\u2019re going to replicate that at school.\u201d <\/p>\n

Lighter-Kamm is familiar with how domestic violence propagates. Her grandmother and mother suffered at the hands of abusive partners, too. <\/p>\n

\u201cI found myself in multiple violent relationships, physically, mentally, emotionally and financially; abuse comes in many different forms and can happen to anyone,\u201d Lighter-Kamm says. \u201cIt\u2019s an issue here in Hawai\u2018i or in Asian cultures where you don\u2019t talk about violence at home to others.\u201d <\/p>\n

Brutality of that sort thrives in silence. When the abused or witnesses don\u2019t speak out or seek help, it perpetuates the cycle and trickles down to subsequent generations. That notion was the genesis for WSO, whose motto is \u201cspeak up, speak out, speak love.\u201d <\/p>\n

Currently, WSO is the only organization in the state focused on preventing dating violence through education. It believes that\u2019s the key. <\/p>\n

\u201c(Students are) the ones that will make a difference,\u201d Lighter-Kamm says. \u201cAnd we don\u2019t just teach them about healthy relationships. We teach them things like financial literacy and goal-setting, things I wish I had 25 years ago when I was in my first abusive relationship.\u201d <\/p>\n

Working with youth has been an inspiration for Lighter-Kamm, who notes that boys are now a big part of WSO\u2019s programming. <\/p>\n

\u201cThis new generation, they\u2019re more \u2018woke,\u2019 more aware and not afraid to share their stories or call people out,\u201d she says. \u201cMore boys are saying something when they see (it happening) at school and they\u2019re getting involved with us to protect their friends.\u201d <\/p>\n

And Lighter-Kamm wants the rest of Hawai\u2018i to have the courage to speak out. <\/p>\n

To inspire that change, WSO and its board (led by volunteer president Theresa Schubert) have announced five additional impactful initiatives. With the help of volunteer marketing director Cydney Chu, WSO is ramping up plans for its The Future is Bright program, self-defense classes, a support group, a partnership with Girls Court and a monthly giving campaign. <\/p>\n

The Future is Bright provides free education to high schools, covering life skills, financial literacy, goal-setting, mental health and more. This program also awards $10,000 in scholarships to WSO student ambassadors. <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve had boys come up to me and ask, \u2018Miss, is your organization only for girls?\u2019\u201d Lighter-Kamm recalls. \u201cSo we created an offshoot program called Students Speaking Out (led by volunteer director Julie Chu Fieman).<\/p>\n

\u201cOne of the boys, a Farrington football player, said, \u2018I admire what you\u2019re doing. My mom is in an abusive relationship and I see her get hit every week.\u2019 He joined Students Speaking Out and he got other football players to join.\u201d <\/p>\n

Last year, WSO began offering women-led self-defense classes in partnership with Women Empowered. The most recent one took place Oct. 13, and past workshops have helped women at Leeward Community College, Hawai\u2018i Pacific University and Hawai\u2018i Dental Service. These lessons teach participants how to protect themselves through sitting and standing techniques. <\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t need strength, it\u2019s all about leverage,\u201d explains Lighter-Kamm. <\/p>\n

WSO will also be bringing back its quarterly support groups for dating violence survivors next year. Participants share their stories (or just listen) and obtain resources. <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve had my organization for 15 years and the hurt doesn\u2019t go away,\u201d Lighter-Kamm admits. \u201cThe trauma and pain get better, but it\u2019ll be with us forever. Our support group has been healing for me. I can talk to other women and know I\u2019m not alone.\u201d <\/p>\n

To help young victims, WSO has also partnered with the Hawai\u2018i State Judiciary\u2019s Girls Court. The program is geared toward girls ages 12-18 who have committed some kind of minor crime, and helps them escape the cycle of abuse. <\/p>\n

\u201cThese young women come from unimaginable tragedy prior to their crimes,\u201d explains Lighter-Kamm. \u201cThey\u2019ve experienced violence, child pornography, sex trafficking, neglect, abuse, drugs, homelessness, the gamut.\u201d <\/p>\n

WSO hosts bimonthly confidence-building workshops with program participants focused on makeup application, self-care and an empowering talk-story with current Miss Hawai\u2018i USA Breea Yamat. <\/p>\n

\u201cOur message to these young women is, \u2018Your circumstances don\u2019t define you,\u2019\u201d says Lighter-Kamm. \u201cYou can rewrite your story. You might have some bad chapters but you get an education, get help and can write new ones of hope.\u201d <\/p>\n

Finally, WSO started a monthly giving campaign to raise money for its various programs \u2014 sign up at wsohawaii.org\/donate. Those who sign up in October will get a free WSO travel bag filled with goodies. <\/p>\n

There\u2019s no doubt that WSO has done a lot for the community in its first 15 years, and Lighter-Kamm\u2019s goals for the future will double down on that effort. <\/p>\n

\u201cI will continue this fight until the day I die,\u201d she says. \u201cI will be a voice for the women who cannot speak because they\u2019ve been killed, or those who are too afraid right now to admit they\u2019re in an abusive relationship or scared to leave. I\u2019ll be a voice for the young girls and boys who are in the middle of something bad and don\u2019t know how to get out.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Women Speaking Out and its founder, Juliet Lighter-Kamm, want to end dating\/domestic violence by encouraging the community to \u201cspeak up,..<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":2479,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2476","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cover-story"],"yoast_head":"\nBreaking the Silence, Building Strength - Hawaii Island MidWeek<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/hawaii.carpentermediagroup.com\/midweekhawaii\/breaking-the-silence-building-strength\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Breaking the Silence, Building Strength - 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